they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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