mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
two words...techno handjob
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We need to get me chipped asap
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