no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
