____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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