God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
