porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
