I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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