Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
