I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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