Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
