Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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