cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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