His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
