She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize