she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
