Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
