I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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