Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
