He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I want to fling myself into the sun
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
