We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize