Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize