what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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