Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My feet surprised me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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