I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
