i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
