So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
