He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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