woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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