Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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