ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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