never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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