I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
