Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
