Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My ATM looks so different sober.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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