Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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