im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I think people are normalizing furries
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
