i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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