Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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