Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
