there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
