I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
