last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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