Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
