I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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