carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
