please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
