Nicole vs. Life
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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