The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
