i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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