We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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