I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
