Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she told me i tasted like america
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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