OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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