haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i already hear my dad disowning me
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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