Yo dont text me then not text me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
