You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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