hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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