You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
handjob tips. give me some.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
