i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
