Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
