Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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