So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
