I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
