In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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