just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
