he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
