Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
