I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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