first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
